Opportunity
by WhisperBlack
Summary: Jack is presented with the opportunity to try and change everything. But will Ennis reject him yet again? AU
1. Jack and opportunity

Author: Whisperblack

Pairing: Jack/Ennis

Warnings: Graphic slash (eventually), mild hate crime depiction, swearing

Summary: What if Jack came upon the golden opportunity to disappear...and took it?

Author Notes: So I´m a Yank and I don´t know exactly how they should talk, but I did my limited best. Any notes or corrections would certainly be welcomed.

ooo

Jack stood a long time at the side of the road, starin´ at the man with the mutilated face. Someone had carved ¨queer¨ into the ground next to his head. He wanted to be sick. He crouched, elbows on his knees, next to the body. The man had dark brown hair, was short and stocky. He seemed mostly intact, ´cept for his face, and he wondered what kind a hate a man had to have inside him to do that. How much of a sonofabitch did a man have to be to hate someone because of love?

Jack examined the man closer. The man was almost exactly his size, same color hair, face smashed in beyond recognition. He rifled through the man´s pockets, coming up with a wallet. He opened it, rifling through a few bills and a handwritten receipt for one John Pevenes. There were two pictures, one of a strong dark cowboy on a bay horse, facing the rising sun and photographed in profile, the black and white making him seem lonesome. The other photo depicted the man that lay faceless before him, the same build and the same shirt and hat, similar enough to Jack to be taken for him. The photos were worn with age, treasured keepsakes. Jack spared a moment to wonder if they´d really been together or if they´d made the same choices, same mistakes he and Ennis had.

A plan began to stew in his mind. This was his out, his golden opportunity, his chance to build the kind of life he wanted.

Oh now he seen what Ennis´d seen as a boy, a man beaten up for loving men. But unlike Ennis, it didn´t make him want to run away, it didnt make him want to deny himself because people hated queers.

As he put his boots on the dead man (John had slightly bigger feet, so it took some pushin´, but he did it in the end), lookin´ down at poor dead John, it made him realize it darn well could´ve been him, killed by the side of the road. He´d heard the rumors goin´ around the town about him and his rancher friend, guy he´d fucked a couple a times up in the woods when the longing got too strong and Mexico was too far away. It could have been him dead and Ennis alone the rest of his life, cryin´ ´cause they´d never had the chance to really love each other.

No, this brush with hate and death made Jack want to be with Ennis all the more. If they was gonna kill him for bein a faggot then he would goddamn be the kind of queer he wanted to be, livin´ on a ranch with the man he loved. All he had to do was convince Ennis to leave withim. Jack had never studied Latin, but if he had, his new motto would be ¨carpe fuckin´ diem¨.

Ten minutes later, it was Jack Twist who lay on the side of the road next to his truck, dead as a doornail, and John Pevenes walked down the dusty road alone, clothes a little bloodstained from a barfight and the photos callin´ to him from his back pocket.

ooo

Updates will be sporadic, I warn ye.

if you could do me a favor and review, click the little button below. i appreciate it more than you can know.


	2. Ennis and heartbreak

Wow...18 reviews in a few short days and on only one chapter! You guys are awesome.

I can´t promise regular updates, especially because mid-January I go back to college, but I can promise that I won´t quit writing until this fic is done. You can tell already by the size of these chapters that this isn´t going to be an epic novella, but I´m hoping to extend it out to something reasonable that puts them in a plausible, good situation.

ooo

Ennis laid the phone to rest with fingers that trembled violently. He leaned his forehead against the cold metal box, hurting so hard and deep it made him lightheaded. Dead. Dead, dead. He felt deaf, he felt numb, and he made it all the way home before vomiting. It was much worse than when he´d first parted ways with Jack, when the cramping in his belly had forced him to stop on the side of the road and pant as his guts tried to turn themselves inside-out with longing and despair. Dead.

He didn´t notice anything as he feet took him to a familiar place. The bartender took one look at the set of his shoulders, the frown sitting on him like a thundercloud and poured him a double shot of whisky. Everything after that was drowned in golden fire.

He stepped out onto the damp street, looking at the headlights wobbling past. Unsteady, he tottered in front of a pair, vague drunken thoughts of joining Jack flickering like intoxicated shadows as he turned to face oncomin´ oblivion. When the truck screeched to halt, horn lowing like an angry bull, he was so mad he reached right through the driver´s window and punched him in the face. A second time prevented from bein´ with Jack. He got licked real bad in that fight, but the pain in his face made the screaming wail of his heart quiet down some.

The next day, hungover and lookin´ like hell, he lied to his boss that it was his brother who´d been killed, and the man gave him a week off though he could ill-afford to spare him. Ennis said thanks gruffly and took off for Lightning Flats, to visit Jack´s parents and find out about scattering his ashes on Brokeback.

He drank the coffee, refused the cake, and accepted the old man´s ultimatum that Jack would not be put to rest on Brokeback. The comfort offered by Jack´s momma was scant but welcome in that grey place. He could see why Jack wanted so bad to get away.

It was like an icicle in his heart when he found those shirts in Jack´s closet, his own carefully tucked inside. As he held their nested shirts to his nose, searching for a hint of Jack´s musk, he felt somethin´ in him crack, messy as a rodeo rider´s limbs. This wasn´t how love was supposed to be. There was no roses and candy and gently kisses under moonlight. What he´d had with Jack was hard and fast fire, burned out too quick and leavin´ him scorched. This love was not for savorin´.

As he drove away, the shuddering engine humming tunelessly beneath him, his hand crept inside the brown paper bag and stroked the worn denim of Jack´s collar.

He slept with their shirts in his arms that night, waking up with both his pillow and his sheets damp. He set them aside that morning and headed in his truck for Brokeback. He couldn´t bring himself to climb it and had no horse. Seeing those meadows and campsites again would ´ave destroyed ´im. He just sat on the hood of his car, elbows on his knees, squinting from beneath his hat at the mountain´s profile until it grew dark.

As the brilliant reds and oranges silhouetting the mountain began to fade, Ennis looked down at his callused hands and sighed, feelin´ a bit more at peace with his sorrow. ¨Jack, ´m sorry.¨ he murmured, and took one last squint at the mountains before drivin´ away.

ooo

So? How´m I doin´?

Many thanks to Spideria, Pip3, hugglesbunny, emergencynf, danleri, Phasma Lux, cheshire(cat2, birds of morrigan, Inkstained Scarlet, Terilicious, cbslytherinf.g., mysterious-muse, Sendai, awesomepossum, and amber2403 for their loving encouragement. You guys are the reason people write fanfiction. (Well, also to deal with my own devastation at the ending of Brokeback.)


	3. Two together

My god! I never expected this much of a response! You guys are so encouraging. I just got back from seeing Brokeback Mountain again, and it was even sadder the second time. I'm glad you all like my characterization. I was worried about that because these are such complex, specific people and so much of their history is covered in the movie. It's not like Harry Potter where you can just jerk them around every which way. Also, I'm terribly sorry about the size of my chapters but the style in which the movie and short story were done was very sparse and stark, and I feel obliged to keep that spirit, otherwise it would no longer be Brokeback Mountain and would be Matteson's Happy Fun Time with Gay Cowboys.

Also! Feel free to steal my it-wasn't-Jack idea and do whatever you want with it. I'm not possessive and there are so many more angles to it than the one I'm exploring. I'd love to see more Brokeback fics out there.

More! Thank you for your patience and lovely comments. I adore every single one of you!

Last thing: did anyone catch my error in the last chapter? I had Ennis coming OUT of the bar and nearly getting hit by a car, whereas in the movie he nearly gets hit going INTO the bar.

oxoxoxo

The afternoon light was sadly golden and dusty. It made Ennis feel old. He absently straightened his postcard of Brokeback and stroked the collar of the denim shirt where it hung on his closet door, feeling the frownlines in his face tighten. He heard the moaning wind snatch open the door of his trailer and bang it shut again. It happened so often he never bothered to look anymore. He had no visitors and no thief would wander this far out of town to steal from a scruffy pauper. His loneliness was like drowning in a river swollen with snowmelt, pulling at him and chilling him to the bone. With Jack had gone the warmth in his life, his pride, his hope.

"Jack, I swear..." Ennis said brokenly, eyes brimming and dark. The wind howled in chorus with his grief.

"What do you swear, Ennis Del Mar?"

Ennis whirled at the familiar drawling voice, face pinching. He let his red eyes take in the figure standing there, pointed boots, scuffed beltless jeans, heavy cordoroy jacket, no mustache, black cowboy hat. A vision of Brokeback mountain standing in the doorway, a challenging set to his shoulders and lips.

The only thing Ennis could think to do was punch him solid to the cheek, just like the end of that first summer, half expecting to hit air. Jack tumbled back, right out of the trailer. He yelled something that resembled "Sonofabitch!" as he fell, landing right on his ass, and Ennis stared in shock, rubbing his knuckles where they'd hit Jack's warm living skin. He jumped down out of the trailer to crouch next to Jack, who was still swearing as Ennis reached out to touch his face wonderingly.

"Jack?" he whispered. Jack leaned into his fingers, the curses trailing off.

"Ennis."

"They said you died." Ennis said stupidly, stroking his rough cheek to drive away the lies. Jack looked straight into Ennis's muddy pained eyes.

"That«s what I wanted _them_ to think. But now you know better," he said warmly, reaching for Ennis. And after so long in the cold and dark, Ennis came easily into his arms, easier even than their first meeting after four years, when they'd been so eager and reckless Alma had seen the fiercely kissing on the stoop.

"Jack." he whispered reverently against his lover«s lips. "Aw hell, Jack. I'm sorry. I'm fuckin' sorry." he couldn't come up with anything more to say, so he just kept repeating it into his lover's collarbone until Jack shushed him. But it was okay, nothing needed to be said. Jack was alive.

oxoxoxo

Thanks go out to: Moonchild DJ, drygionus, Mileena69, darkslash, PartyPenguin86, Quellesirel Peredhil, Slash-a-holic, Pretty Racing, SilverBlood666, an-angel-in-hell, rg kinski, ix-tab, XRachX, mysterious-muse, Elvish Lady, Dawnie1970, amber24-03, Angeloholic, Countess Dontes, Yul-chan, yoru no ame, OpheliaSometimes, Skull Bearer, Ancient Galaxy, Cammie Jensen, ShadoBynder, Spidersting, M.D. De La Croix, Pip3, jak4snape, morris, birds of morrigan, Phasma Lux, cbslytherinf.g., awesome possum, Terilicious, The Lady Luthien, and sweetkitty. You guys are awesome!

sorry this chapter wasn't as good, the semester has begun and i am very sleep deprived.

any suggestions are welcome, and please review if you want to.


	4. Buying myself some time

I am SO TERRIBLY SORRY! You know how RL can be. Thank you to those several people who reviewed "come on!". I needed a swift kick in the pants. That said, this chapter is a sexy filler to satisfy you and buy me time to think about the plot again. eek! (I may get it beta'd and repost as well...)

**WARNINGS! gay lovin'! nudity! swearing!**

Without further ado: the fourth chapter of Opportunity.

- >- >-

Ennis woke up the next morning unpleasantly cool. The blankets were on the floor and the sheet pushed down just past his bottom. The trailer's windows were open to the breeze and Jack was not next to him. For a heart-fluttering moment, he thought it had all been a dream as he looked up, panicked and eyes still muzzy with sleep.

He was treated to a lovely sight, and one he had never glimpsed before. Jack watched him with pale eyes, slung comfortably on the stool with his elbows on the counter. He was naked.

"Jack." He breathed, shifting on the thin bed. He winced as his lower back twinged. Definitely not a dream.

"Mornin'." Jack replied easily, a corner of his mouth lifting at the way Ennis' eyes hungrily flitted over his body, heat in their dark depths. He let his knee fall to one side invitingly.

It took Ennis but a small moment to rise, stand in front of him and take Jack's head in his hands as he always did, and kiss him urgently. Jack chuckled into his mouth, pulled away slightly to murmur "Where's the fire?" as he turned the kiss more languid and lazy, as was proper for morning. Everything about Ennis spoke of desperation. "Whoa," he said it quiet and soothing, like talkin to a spooked horse, "we've got time now. Ain't no damn sheep." Ennis pressed his face into Jack's shoulder, and the darker cowboy couldn't tell if his shaking was laughter or tears. He sighed and comfortably hooked his heels together at the small of Ennis' back, waiting to be kissed again.

When it came, he was almost surprised. Ennis put his hands on Jack's back, stroking softly up and down and nudging Jack's nose with his own. Their eyes locked for what seemed like eternity before Ennis' brown irises flicked down to Jack's bruised, full lips. He leaned in, reaching across the last small gap with the tip of his tongue, running it along the warm soft crease between Jack's two lips. Jack made a soft huffing sound in his throat.

"Wait, wait, Ennis, I wanted to talk to you about something." he said, remembering, thinking of ranches and futures and homes with double beds. Ennis silenced him with a languid kiss, smoother and easier because Jack's head was free to move, unfettered by the large hands which now circled lower and lower on his back. Each swipe of Ennis' tongue was followed by a press of soft lips, and he broke away for the barest moment to echo Jack's words. "We got time." Jack laughed as Ennis' mouth returned to his. He nipped Ennis' bottom lip with a hiss as a callused finger slid gently down between the muscular halves of his backside. Jack lifted himself off the stool, pressing against Ennis as if to crawl inside him.

In the barest second, he was lying on his back on the tiny single bed, legs over Ennis' shoulders and a finger stroking in and out of him slowly. He looked down along his own firm chest, the slight belly, past his begging cock to Ennis, whose eyes shone with lust and mouth hung slightly open, panting, as he watched his finger disappear rhythmically into Jack's willing body. Jack moaned, a gutteral sound of need. This slow, this looking, it was new. They hadn't had time before. Even now that they did, Jack didn't want to go slow. When Ennis rubbed firmly over his prostate, he bucked his hips with impatience.

"Fuck," he whispered. "Oh fuck!" shocked because Ennis ran his tongue over the crown of Jack's cock and that was something he had never, ever done before in all their years of furtive encounters. His fingers tangled in that blond hair as the tongue returned again and again, until Jack couldn't stand it any more and pulled him up and away. He kissed Ennis bruisingly for just a moment, and panted, open-mouthed, hot breath puffing against a rough cheek.

Ennis waited until Jack recovered slightly, until those shining blue eyes locked with his own before he pushed inside him with breath-catching slowness. When he was fully seated, he paused for a moment, listening to Jack's little noises, feeling the tiny impatient shifting of his hips as he tried to get that thick cock to fuck him.

"Oh hells...Ennis!" he growled finally, breaking their intense gaze. Ennis frowned slightly in concentration as he pulled away, almost sliding all the way out of the smaller body beneath him before slamming his cock back inside Jack, angling to hit his prostate. "Fuck!" he cried out before pulling Ennis' mouth back down to his own.

The slipping and probing of their lips and tongue matched the relentless slide of Ennis within Jack, who begged with every kiss for more of everything. Ennis gave it to him, thrusting faster, his every muscle taunt and feeling Jack's fingers pawing at every reachable inch of his skin. Their teeth clicked together and neither cared because Ennis was deep inside him and Jack couldn't help but lift his hips with each inward stroke, cushioning the sharp slap of Ennis' hips with his fleshy bottom.

Ennis' every nerve ending filled with sharp, urgent sweetness. He felt fingers against his belly as Jack took himself in hand, moaning and pulling as his muscles clasped in waves around Ennis' cock. "Fuck," one of them whispered, maybe both of them. Jack stroked himself, dug the nails of his other hand into Ennis' neck, probed his mouth without mercy. Ennis slammed right into his prostate and Jack was tossed off that rodeo, flying through air as Ennis bucked against him still, coming in shudders and relaxing into the sticky semen on Jack's belly. He carefully lowered Jack's legs, removed the bites from their kisses and soothed with his tongue.

"Jack." he murmured, but that's all he could say. Jack laced their fingers together and let Ennis just press down on him, content to feel that weight. They traded little kisses for hours as the sun moved higher, and didn't think about outside the trailer. Time enough.

Time enough for all that later.

- >- >-

Whew! Let me know how you thought that was. This is my first explicit sex scene in a long while, and I was trying to show that it was a different dynamic that those head-clutching quick fucks in the movie. Plus the only other explicit slash I've ever written was for Harry Potter, VERY different people. I was nervous to write it, so feedback (don't be afraid to suggest improvements! that might get you ANOTHER sex scene!) would be most welcome.

ALSO, PLEASE IN YOUR OWN SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS USE CONDOMS AND LUBE. Jack and Ennis don't because the movie doesn't and I don't even know what they had in that year. So I skipped it. Sue me.

Bingo to Seom for being my 100th reviewer.

Besides her, MANY MANY THANKS to: 2ofnine, The Bell and the Black Dragon, simbele, DracoPotterMalfoy-JackEnnisDelMar, Krippity, milenium03, Lozzimal, vedetta, white soul, Living-in-Transcendence, grim ripper596, oceansgoing, Anouch, Mileena69, Jada91, cbslytherinf.g, amber24-03, mysterious-muse, an-angel-in-hell, ix-tab, StrangeMurder, Icy Flame, viperone, Cammie Jensen, sesshomaruÕs fluff is mine, maggdmns, XRachX, Slash-a-holic, Angeloholic, jak4snape, awesomepossum, The Lady Luthien, Spidersting, Charles Devante, chaeli.mee., and LuvAngel448. You are truly all the best reviewers I have ever had.


	5. Worth it

All the usual warnings apply, gayness, love, and nudity are below.

Also, I want to apologize to all those who have been patiently waiting for an update, particularly the individual who has emailed me. Thank you for kicking me in the butt, that's what I need to remind me that people actually care whether or not this story is finished. My only excuse is that I'm studying abroad for a year in Egypt, and Cairo is a mad, mad place that I haven't yet settled into. Nonetheless, I still promise that Opportunity will be finished...someday. Hopefully in a timely manner. Just keep bothering me. Really.

zzzzzzzzzz

"Come back to bed, Jack." Ennis said roughly. He wouldn't meet his lover's eyes, fingers twitching against the blanket slung low over his narrow hips.

"That's a hard offer to resist, partner, but you can't keep on distractin' me whenever I bring this up." Jack scrubbed at his short hair with callused fingers. "I want a home, with you. Ennis, don't you want that?" he perched on the bed next to Ennis, looking deep into his plain brown eyes. "Don't you want a life?"

"Jack, I..." Ennis blew out an impatient breath.

"What are you afraid of, Ennis?"

"I'm afraid of people talking!" Ennis shouted, throwing off his blanket and pacing the three steps from closet to kitchen almost wildly. "I'm afraid that next time I get a call saying you're dead, it'll really be you!"

"So you're gonna let 'em win? Let them keep us afraid so we ain't never gonna get the peace we want? Can't you take a chance, Ennis? Can't you take just the chance that we could be happy?" Ennis hesitated for so long that Jack despaired of a reply.

"I...I gotta think." Ennis said finally, seriously. "I'm goin' for a drive." He pulled on his clothes hurriedly and left the small trailer.

Jack stared forlornly at the rumpled bed as he heard Ennis's beat up truck rumble and to the crunch of the tires as they pulled his lover away along the long, empty road.

"Well shit." Jack slammed his hands down on the counter and stared at the interior of the trailer without seeing it. If only he could find a place, a real concrete place somewhere up on a mountain with no one to see. Neither he nor Ennis minded the lonesomeness of it much, and it would be free-er, easier up on a mountaintop. If only he had a deed in his hand to offer Ennis, an ultimatum. A this-is-where-I'm-goin'-and-you-better-follow-if-you-know-what's-good-for-you kinda statement.

His eyes set in determination. If that's what he needed to snare Ennis, then that's what he would do. It was time to start enquiring with friends and businessmen for a nice quiet ranch somewhere far from Texas and Wyoming where they could hunt and fish and raise cattle together. Together.

But meanwhile, he was going after Ennis.

zzzzzzz

Once he'd hitched a ride into town, it wasn't difficult to find his lover. Ennis was terribly predictable, and was sitting right under the gnarled old oak, just where Jack expected to find him. He sat down a careful distance away, twisting his hat in his fingers.

"Gonna brood all day?" he asked, thinking back on times at Brokeback, where Ennis could spend all afternoon staring into the river with a frown on his face. There was a long, desolate silence before Ennis turned his eyes, marred by worried crowsfeet, towards him.

"What you're thinkin', Jack. I dunno if it can happen, here...now. It just don't seem possible. And next time it could be both of us dead." Jack went cold.

"So you're afraid for your own stupid hide!" he spat. "Look, I ain't gonna say it'll be easy, no matter how isolated we get, no matter where we go. But when I look at you I know that anythin' else is a hundred times worse. I'll just dry up, Ennis, and blow away, without you." He was yelling in a whisper, his hissing words striking Ennis like physical blows. "I'm willin' to risk anything to have some kinda future with you and you're tellin' me it ain't worth it to you!"

Ennis gaped at him until he turned away, and then the other cowboy was up and after Jack before he got more than a foot away.

"That's not what I meant!" he said heatedly, trying to keep quiet as he hauled Jack around to look at him. Jack's face was pinched and angry and Ennis pushed back his hat and scratched his head. "I meant that nothin' was worth seein' you dead." The lines around Jack's mouth unpursed slightly. The look in his eyes said he wanted to rest his forehead against Ennis', but he merely sighed.

"Well, without you I might as well be dead." His voice held such a note of resignation and finality that Ennis ached to hold him. They both had to turn away before someone noticed their unnaturally prolonged staring. Sitting by the side of the twisted oak again, there was silence as they both brooded in the dusty sunshine.


End file.
